Friday, March 21, 2008

They like me, they really like me!

Sally Fields moment there. (For you youngbies, ask an older person and they'll explain the reference moment to you) Anyways, I have been getting bugged for a new blog. And, to be fair, I have been quite pathetic when it comes to keeping up. There have both been many things and yet very little going. How can that be, you ask? Well, let's see...I went to Colorado with Justin. I didn't end up skiing, but I did shoot a gun for the first time and I also went on a tour of the Coors Brewery. That was interesting .... and all in all it was a very all-American weekend. An aside, I was amazed at the violence of the gun up close, and found I was terrified by it. I was also surprised by the yummy-ness of fresh Coors beer.

But, without a job, life can be kind of boring. I realize that my job right now is to get well, but it can be a little boring. I am excited about the prospect of being cancer-free. There has been one super major frustration of this whole thing, and I'll bet that you won't be able to guess what it is. I must back up and add a little context to this picture. You see, most people struggle physically in many ways on chemo. They suffer from fatigue, loss of appetite, hair loss, etc.... This physical debilitation often caused from the treatment often causes them to lose weight.

What you need to know about me and my experience with treatment has been rather different than many people. Probably due to my age and type of cancer, I have borne the treatment very well. My appetite has been fine (surprise, surprise), and if I let myself sleep for three days, by the fourth I am starting to feel quite well. Indeed, I have going to the gym most other days. So, my problem hasn't been weight loss, but weight gain! I'm grateful that I am doing so well, but jiminey crickets, do I have to get fatter? I can hear the doctor as he goes from patient to patient. I'll hear him tell one patient or the other that to try and gain a lbs or two in the following weeks. Notably, he has never proffered me such medical advice. So since my appetite has survived and my activity plummeted, I put on weight. So it's counting calories and exercise for me. Yippee. Life can be terribly unfair, can't it. Cancer and dieting? Cruel. But, I lost 4 lbs this past week, so I suppose it will all bear out.

To add to my feeling somewhat unattractive, I have some hair, but not all. I would estimate that I lost 25% of my hair. It's thin, but there. So, this leads to more and more staring. You see, people can't seem to decide "what's the deal?" with me. So they feel license to stare, and more recently since the hair I have has grown longer, I have had people openly snicker after looking at me. It hurts a little, but not too much. On an interesting note, I discovered something bizarre about my hair. That which has not fallen out is striped. Like the rings of a tree, each strand goes from thick to thin from the chemo. Intriguing.

Well, that's enough for the moment, but I won't be so long away next time. Promise