Last night, a good man passed away after a long battle with cancer. His name was Kyle and he was a manager whom Justin worked for during his time at AV. I personally didn't know Kyle terribly well; we pretty much knew each other through the word of others. I only met him once, in fact, at a company party when he was about to start up another round of treatment and I (little did I know at the time) would be soon starting up another round myself. Yet, what I did know about him compels me to give pause and space here for remembrance. It moves me to give thanks for his life. He was a man whom my husband always respected, and Justin is not always an easy man to impress. He was a man whom people trusted, who was smart and a good manager. Justin always appreciated him as a person and felt that Kyle had his best interest at heart, something not always found in business these days. He was a man who loved fast cars, both in mini-racer form and in the full-sized versions too. He was a man, though he had never met me, sent me a book about women who were fighting and surviving cancer when he found out that I had been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He was a man who was diagnosed with a rare cancer that is usually found only in tobacco users, of which he was not. And he fought it even when the odds were not good because, and this is only a guess, he believed that life was worth fighting for. I only knew him through his friends and co-workers, and yet I know he was a man who will be greatly missed, not only by his family but by his friends and co-workers.
I can only begin to imagine what his family are going through right now, and I know that no words will be of any comfort. Exactly a month from now marks the 6 year anniversary of my own mothers death from Breast cancer. If I allow myself, I can remember the gut wrenching, soul-shaking agony and grief of that time, and I ache for the pain his family feels right now. I know, however, that he will always be remembered in the hearts and minds of the people whom he touched, and that includes Justin and I.
I pray for him comfort and peace and that he is in the arms of the Father now, and I hope to one day see him on the other side.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A quandry and a query
Per my husband's request, I am going to bring a debate here to my blog. It's a stupid debate, the kind a husband and wife get into and go to others to settle, which will inevitably leave one of us (most likely me if history is any portent) will end up being "wrong". Mind you...this is a stupid debate, but if we could get some feedback, maybe we could come to some sort of agreement.
It's about our toilet seat. (Collective groan) I know, I know, if you're married, you've probably had some form of this discussion. Here's the problem. Justin was well trained as a child growing up and he always closes the toilet seat, cover and all. This would seem like a good thing, right? Well, having lived with girls most of my life, which means that there was not a lot of manipulation of seats, I have always generally left the cover up unless we have guests. We really don't have a problem until night time when I stumble to the bathroom and, half asleep, sit down on the seat cover and come to that realization just moments before a mishap takes place.
Now, I think that it's not that big of a deal for Justin to just leave the cover up, at least at night. However, Justin thinks that how he does it is the "proper way" and, therefore, I should learn to adjust. I agree with him that generally his way is the best way and that when I am in my best conscious mind I have no problem just lifting up the cover. All I am asking for is the night time. Just leave the cover up at night. Is that so much to ask? Seriously. I'm asking all of you. Justin wanted me to take this to the blog, and so we will respect your decision. Help us.
It's about our toilet seat. (Collective groan) I know, I know, if you're married, you've probably had some form of this discussion. Here's the problem. Justin was well trained as a child growing up and he always closes the toilet seat, cover and all. This would seem like a good thing, right? Well, having lived with girls most of my life, which means that there was not a lot of manipulation of seats, I have always generally left the cover up unless we have guests. We really don't have a problem until night time when I stumble to the bathroom and, half asleep, sit down on the seat cover and come to that realization just moments before a mishap takes place.
Now, I think that it's not that big of a deal for Justin to just leave the cover up, at least at night. However, Justin thinks that how he does it is the "proper way" and, therefore, I should learn to adjust. I agree with him that generally his way is the best way and that when I am in my best conscious mind I have no problem just lifting up the cover. All I am asking for is the night time. Just leave the cover up at night. Is that so much to ask? Seriously. I'm asking all of you. Justin wanted me to take this to the blog, and so we will respect your decision. Help us.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The worst travel day EVER
It's 12:39 AM and I'm in Dallas. I was supposed to be in Corpus Christi and hour and a half ago. But I'm not. Because today was the worst travel day EVER. Let me run it down for you. So. I had planned on getting up early and trying to get on standby to get to Corpus earlier, but that fell through so I went ahead and planned on taking my 1:35PM flight to Dallas. I didn't have any bags to check, so I left the house at 11:00. Plenty of time to get to LAX....unless you hit mondo traffic on the 405. Which I did. It took me and hour and a half to get to LAX. Now, I had planned on parking in the long term parking which costs 13 dollars a day, but since I was running so late I had to park in the short term parking which costs $30 a day. I rushed inside, rushed through security, breathed a sigh of relief and went to look at the board to find my gate. And I noticed that my flight was delayed to 4:35. Which meant I was going to miss my 8:05 PM connection flight to Corpus. Apparently storms shut down most of the airports in Texas for some time today. So, I went back to the car and moved it to the long term lot and took the shuttle back to the airport. I went through security (time #2) and looked at the board and saw that the flight had been pushed back to 5:35 PM. I went and stood in line for customer service (which was 80 people long) and began to wait. Then the customer service lady recommended that those of us at the back of the line might want to try the ticket counter. Since I was at the back of the line, I decided to take my chances and left the secure area and went to the ticket counter where I waited for another 30 minutes or so to talk to someone. I was slightly insulted when she asked for the next gentleman in line (me), but tried to take it in stride with the short hair and all and hoped that she had some eyesight issues. She was able to get me on a flight to Corpus Christi at 6:45 Saturday (which now is today) morning, which was great and I thanked her copiously, forgiving the fact she thought I was a dude from far away. I got back in the security line again, and was called sir by a TSA agent. That left me once again feeling far from pretty, but still I was focused on the task ahead...getting some lunch. By this time it was 2:00 and I hadn't eaten anything. I went through the metal detectors and one of the TSA guys said, "Hey, you're back." I told him that I hoped this third time would be the last, and I made my way to Chili's. At this point, I thought my day was looking up. I got a table after a short 10 minute wait, and ate myself a turkey sandwich. I tipped the waiter generously, feeling particularly gracious now that my travel troubles were sorted out.
I went to my gate, and I noticed it was pretty deserted so I figured that they had probably changed my gate. I went to look up at the board and discovered that my departure had been delayed again. To 7:35. However a flight which had been scheduled originally to leave at 3:50 and rescheduled to leave at 5:30, had remained the same. Highly annoyed, I went back to the customer service area and waited in line (with what was now becoming an angry lynch mob minus torches) for about 30 minutes until I could talk to a representative. While I was in the line, the flight was further delayed until 8:30PM, which would have meant I would have gotten to DFW at 1:30 AM, only to have to catch a flight to Corpus at 6:45 AM. When my turn with the ticket agent came around, I asked her (not expecting a good result) if I could get on the 3:50 i.e. 5:30 flight to Dallas, and by the grace of God....I did. She asked if I wanted an back of the plane aisle or window or a front of the plane middle seat, and I told her that I didn't care if I had to ride on the wing, as long as she got me on that plane. By this time, it was about 4:45, so I got my ticket with about 15 minutes to spare before they began boarding. Feeling relieved and hopeful that I was finally on the path to maybe, hopefully, on a wing and a prayer making it to the Saturday night wedding, I decided that I was going to reward myself with a Starbucks Signature hot chocolate. It's made of a blend of cocoas and skim milk and it is super yummy, and I went to the register and placed my order only to be met with the response, "Oh, um....I think we're out." At this point I laughed somewhat hysterically, told the young woman, "Don't worry...it's not you, it's me." She looked at me funny and I went to go and wait for my flight.
Finally we boarded, and I got to my middle seat. Which had a broken arm rest. As the plane was loaded, the window seat next to me was empty and I said, "To heck with this," and moved over to the window seat. To discover that it was broken and lay back on it's own. Hence, I slid back to my seat and let the standby passenger take it.
It's a small miracle that the plane didn't crash.
But here I am...and I'm hopeful that I will make it to my destination tomorrow. On the bright side, I got to spend time with my Dad. I made an awful lot of friends to day as I chit chatted with people in the 10-15 various lines I've stood in today. I didn't lose it with any American Airlines employees. In fact, the only person I really lost it with was Justin, and I've apologized. Each time I blew up. Which happened more than twice. Thank goodness he loves me (see...I told you in the last blog that it was guaranteed that you would fight). I'm a big proponent of making my misfortunes other people's giggles, so I hope you all enjoyed. And pray that Justin and I survive the rest of our travel. Corpus Christi here I come! (Maybe)
I went to my gate, and I noticed it was pretty deserted so I figured that they had probably changed my gate. I went to look up at the board and discovered that my departure had been delayed again. To 7:35. However a flight which had been scheduled originally to leave at 3:50 and rescheduled to leave at 5:30, had remained the same. Highly annoyed, I went back to the customer service area and waited in line (with what was now becoming an angry lynch mob minus torches) for about 30 minutes until I could talk to a representative. While I was in the line, the flight was further delayed until 8:30PM, which would have meant I would have gotten to DFW at 1:30 AM, only to have to catch a flight to Corpus at 6:45 AM. When my turn with the ticket agent came around, I asked her (not expecting a good result) if I could get on the 3:50 i.e. 5:30 flight to Dallas, and by the grace of God....I did. She asked if I wanted an back of the plane aisle or window or a front of the plane middle seat, and I told her that I didn't care if I had to ride on the wing, as long as she got me on that plane. By this time, it was about 4:45, so I got my ticket with about 15 minutes to spare before they began boarding. Feeling relieved and hopeful that I was finally on the path to maybe, hopefully, on a wing and a prayer making it to the Saturday night wedding, I decided that I was going to reward myself with a Starbucks Signature hot chocolate. It's made of a blend of cocoas and skim milk and it is super yummy, and I went to the register and placed my order only to be met with the response, "Oh, um....I think we're out." At this point I laughed somewhat hysterically, told the young woman, "Don't worry...it's not you, it's me." She looked at me funny and I went to go and wait for my flight.
Finally we boarded, and I got to my middle seat. Which had a broken arm rest. As the plane was loaded, the window seat next to me was empty and I said, "To heck with this," and moved over to the window seat. To discover that it was broken and lay back on it's own. Hence, I slid back to my seat and let the standby passenger take it.
It's a small miracle that the plane didn't crash.
But here I am...and I'm hopeful that I will make it to my destination tomorrow. On the bright side, I got to spend time with my Dad. I made an awful lot of friends to day as I chit chatted with people in the 10-15 various lines I've stood in today. I didn't lose it with any American Airlines employees. In fact, the only person I really lost it with was Justin, and I've apologized. Each time I blew up. Which happened more than twice. Thank goodness he loves me (see...I told you in the last blog that it was guaranteed that you would fight). I'm a big proponent of making my misfortunes other people's giggles, so I hope you all enjoyed. And pray that Justin and I survive the rest of our travel. Corpus Christi here I come! (Maybe)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Going to the chapel
On Friday, I am going to be traveling to Corpus Christi to meet up with Justin and take part in the wedding of our friends, Beau and Stacy. As someone who might be ordained in the near/distant future, I found myself thinking about what I would say to the couple if it were I who were marrying them and walking them through pre-marital counseling. What follows is the advice I would give the couple...if I left anything vital out, feel free to rectify that in the comments.
1. Be careful how you fight: As a spouse, you know every weakness, every vulnerability, every soft spot that your husband or wife has. This is not ammo in a fight. You should guard and respect that intimacy instead of using it against one another. When you fight....and you will fight, fight about the issue at hand and don't fight to get the other person back. The point of a fight is to resolve an issue, not to be right. Fight for what is in the best interest for both of you, not just for being right.
2. Live with gratitude: It's so easy to come home after a long day and be grumpy and take it out on your spouse. They are the person you can be grumpy with. Often that leads to grumbling about what the other hasn't done, or what they didn't do right that day. Instead of grumbling about what hasn't gotten done, or what wasn't done right, praise your spouse for what they do, for how they contribute. Let them know how much you appreciate all they do in your life to make it better and sweeter. Always remember to tell your spouse how much you appreciate him/her.
3. Think about him/her first: Instead on focusing on what your spouse can do for you, focus on what you can do for your spouse. This is the way to happiness. You should each serve one another, not in expectation of what you will get, but for the joy of loving your spouse and giving love to him or her. The giving yourself over to love your spouse is central to what Ephesians 5:25-33 is talking about. This world encourages you to be self-centered and self-interested above all things. If you value your marriage, I would suggest that you don't.
4. Try to understand how the female/male mind works: Your spouse does not think the way you do. They think in the manner of their gender, so don't try and force them to think like you do. Husband, when your wife comes to you complaining or crying about something in her life, she is not looking for you to fix it. She wants a sympathetic ear, open arms to hold her, and reassurance that she is safe and loved. Wife, when your husband tells you something, take it at face value. Don't infer a bunch of subtext into what he is saying. Generally, men are extremely straightforward. They generally say what they mean and mean what they say....no hidden meaning. Don't look for something that isn't there.
5. Find a church and worship together: God has brought the two of you together and you will make vows to each other before Him and all your family and friends. Putting God in the center of your relationship doesn't ensure that you won't go through storms in life. In fact, I can guarantee that you will. However, when God is in the center of your life and relationship, it gives you something to hold on to in the storm, a place to find calm and peace. Otherwise, the storm can and often will tear you apart. Worship together, pray together. That will do you more good in your relationship than a thousand self help books or special dates.
I'm sure that there are many more things I could tell you, but these are pretty big. They won't ensure a perfect marriage, but I know they help me to feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I look at my husband sometimes and I am overwhelmed with deep and amazing love. I know in my heart that God brought us together. He is my soul mate, and I adore him. I pray that after you have been married for years, you will feel the same.
1. Be careful how you fight: As a spouse, you know every weakness, every vulnerability, every soft spot that your husband or wife has. This is not ammo in a fight. You should guard and respect that intimacy instead of using it against one another. When you fight....and you will fight, fight about the issue at hand and don't fight to get the other person back. The point of a fight is to resolve an issue, not to be right. Fight for what is in the best interest for both of you, not just for being right.
2. Live with gratitude: It's so easy to come home after a long day and be grumpy and take it out on your spouse. They are the person you can be grumpy with. Often that leads to grumbling about what the other hasn't done, or what they didn't do right that day. Instead of grumbling about what hasn't gotten done, or what wasn't done right, praise your spouse for what they do, for how they contribute. Let them know how much you appreciate all they do in your life to make it better and sweeter. Always remember to tell your spouse how much you appreciate him/her.
3. Think about him/her first: Instead on focusing on what your spouse can do for you, focus on what you can do for your spouse. This is the way to happiness. You should each serve one another, not in expectation of what you will get, but for the joy of loving your spouse and giving love to him or her. The giving yourself over to love your spouse is central to what Ephesians 5:25-33 is talking about. This world encourages you to be self-centered and self-interested above all things. If you value your marriage, I would suggest that you don't.
4. Try to understand how the female/male mind works: Your spouse does not think the way you do. They think in the manner of their gender, so don't try and force them to think like you do. Husband, when your wife comes to you complaining or crying about something in her life, she is not looking for you to fix it. She wants a sympathetic ear, open arms to hold her, and reassurance that she is safe and loved. Wife, when your husband tells you something, take it at face value. Don't infer a bunch of subtext into what he is saying. Generally, men are extremely straightforward. They generally say what they mean and mean what they say....no hidden meaning. Don't look for something that isn't there.
5. Find a church and worship together: God has brought the two of you together and you will make vows to each other before Him and all your family and friends. Putting God in the center of your relationship doesn't ensure that you won't go through storms in life. In fact, I can guarantee that you will. However, when God is in the center of your life and relationship, it gives you something to hold on to in the storm, a place to find calm and peace. Otherwise, the storm can and often will tear you apart. Worship together, pray together. That will do you more good in your relationship than a thousand self help books or special dates.
I'm sure that there are many more things I could tell you, but these are pretty big. They won't ensure a perfect marriage, but I know they help me to feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I look at my husband sometimes and I am overwhelmed with deep and amazing love. I know in my heart that God brought us together. He is my soul mate, and I adore him. I pray that after you have been married for years, you will feel the same.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Never say never
Never say never. I'm going to make that a slogan of mine, because the sooner I say I am not going to do something, the sooner it happens that I end up doing it. I promised myself after I finished teaching swimming lessons for a church internship that I would never teach them again. Not because I didn't like doing it, but because I was going to go on to having a career. Flash forward 3 years, and here I am sans job in a terrible economy with few jobs to be had, and my health doing quite well. I need some form of gainful employment, even if it is merely summer work. So, today I went to my old boss and asked if she would be interested in hiring me back for the summer. To my delight, and apparently hers too, she is in dire need for a swimming instructor in my very area. So it looks like I will soon have some form of gainful employment for the first time in almost 2 years. To be honest, although I would rather have a church job of some sort, this will be much better than working at, say, Starbucks, and will pay much better too. Plus, since I have some track record with my employer, I know that she will work with me on my schedule and be relatively flexible with me.
Overall, I think it will be good for everyone. Justin is probably crying for joy right now at the thought of a second income, no matter how temporary that might be. The other upside is that my employer also runs a tutoring business in conjunction with the swimming, so when the major swimming season is over, I might be able to stay on and do some tutoring jobs. So....go team McAllister!
Overall, I think it will be good for everyone. Justin is probably crying for joy right now at the thought of a second income, no matter how temporary that might be. The other upside is that my employer also runs a tutoring business in conjunction with the swimming, so when the major swimming season is over, I might be able to stay on and do some tutoring jobs. So....go team McAllister!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Can tomatoes be willfully obstinate?
Today, I don't have any particularly profound thing to say today....just a couple of random thoughts.
To begin, I was wondering today if tomatoes can be willfully obstinate. The thing is, Justin and I have some stubborn tomatoes on our upper balcony. These tomatoes tend to do poorly when we are paying attention to them, and then they begin to thrive again when we ignore them. It has been months.....MONTHS....since those stupid things have gotten any attention. We've had near freezing nights at times. We've neither watered nor fertilized them. Yet, when I went upstairs to close the balcony door I discovered a live plant which was sporting no less than 5 tomatoes on it. Here's the thing. If the plant would just die, we could throw it out and start again, but if it holds on and keeps itself alive....well then we feel obligated to keep it. So there it lives, going on two years now.
I have to kidnap Justin early from work today to get some errands done. I am able to get most things done in day, but I can't get Justin's haircut for him, neither get fitted for his tux. Hence, the kidnapping.
Otherwise, I've had a very productive day. I cleaned off our downstairs balcony. You see, in an ironic twist, although I live in California, my condo complex does not have a recycling program. However, I try my best to be environmentally friendly in the ways that I can, so I collect my bottles and cans and I make a point to take them to the recycling place. Most of the time when I get a full bucket of recyclables I take them to the recycling center, but I haven't done that for over 3 months, and so today I had to pay the piper. I spent 30 minutes sorting the aluminum from the glass and bottles so that I could get my money back. I made $10.30! Of course, then I remembered that I am not really making money, but getting money refunded that I've already paid. I also used my cloth grocery bags. I try to do my part.
Anyways, those are my thought for today. Breathtaking, aren't they?
To begin, I was wondering today if tomatoes can be willfully obstinate. The thing is, Justin and I have some stubborn tomatoes on our upper balcony. These tomatoes tend to do poorly when we are paying attention to them, and then they begin to thrive again when we ignore them. It has been months.....MONTHS....since those stupid things have gotten any attention. We've had near freezing nights at times. We've neither watered nor fertilized them. Yet, when I went upstairs to close the balcony door I discovered a live plant which was sporting no less than 5 tomatoes on it. Here's the thing. If the plant would just die, we could throw it out and start again, but if it holds on and keeps itself alive....well then we feel obligated to keep it. So there it lives, going on two years now.
I have to kidnap Justin early from work today to get some errands done. I am able to get most things done in day, but I can't get Justin's haircut for him, neither get fitted for his tux. Hence, the kidnapping.
Otherwise, I've had a very productive day. I cleaned off our downstairs balcony. You see, in an ironic twist, although I live in California, my condo complex does not have a recycling program. However, I try my best to be environmentally friendly in the ways that I can, so I collect my bottles and cans and I make a point to take them to the recycling place. Most of the time when I get a full bucket of recyclables I take them to the recycling center, but I haven't done that for over 3 months, and so today I had to pay the piper. I spent 30 minutes sorting the aluminum from the glass and bottles so that I could get my money back. I made $10.30! Of course, then I remembered that I am not really making money, but getting money refunded that I've already paid. I also used my cloth grocery bags. I try to do my part.
Anyways, those are my thought for today. Breathtaking, aren't they?
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