Look at me! I glow!

Ok,ok. I really don't glow, but that would be an awesome side affect of being made radioactive. Yesterday I was subjected to my second pet scan, and to do the scan they both inject you and have you drink radioactive sugar. Yum. You know, the fun thing about all of my appointments and scans and things is that I tend to be the about 20-30 years younger than every other patient I see. They keep telling me that there are lots of young patients they have....I just never see them. I suppose that deep down, I am glad that I don't see lots of people my age in these places, because it sucks to be 26 and sick. I don't mean to complain...but I want to be honest.

I made the mistake and called to ask a question of the nurses at my oncology office. I've had a little bit of drainage for the past week or two. Its probably just allergies, but there's some green stuff in my snot. Then today, I had 1 cough that brought up the slightest bit of green stuff. Well, just as a precaution, I thought I would call the nurse and asked if she would suggest anything for me to do. When I called, I was very clear that I felt fine and that I wasn't running a fever, and that it was just a little green....and MAN they hopped into action. They immediately got the number of my pharmacy, paged the doctor, and arranged for me to be on antibiotics. The same antibiotics that I was supposed to take if I got a fever over 101.5. I kept asking the nurse, "Are you sure? Seriously?" But, the doctor was clear. So, I am on the antibiotic. I'm glad that I didn't mention that I have had green snot for about 2 weeks. They might have sent over a rescue mission.

So, here I am on these antibiotics. It is a funny thing, being on lots and lots of drugs. You start to begin to read labels a little more carefully, you know, to prevent bad combinations of drugs and whatnot. Trust me, one must be an advocate for oneself. And when I read the information of this drug, it lists the following side effects: Belly pain, nausea or vomiting. Small frequent meals, frequent mouth care, sucking hard, sugar free candy, or chewing sugar-free gum may help. Diarrehea.

Yea! Oh yeah, it also says that on rare occasions it can cause you to be dizzy, or for your tendons to rupture. Sigh. And I begin to wonder if the snot was really all that bad. I know, I know....you are thinking that the doctor knows best. He does.

Moving steadily along, I think it is crucial to mention that as I am blogging, I am watching BET gospel channel where TD Jakes is preaching. This is not something I do often, but it happened to catch my attention. As he preaches, his band emphasizes certain points in his sermon with instrumentation. A tambourine in one instant, chords on the organ in another. Now, my favorite preaching professor would be aghast, but I kind of like this style. I'm not sure that it would go over so well in a presbyterian church. Entertaining you must admit. It makes me wonder when I will be up in a pulpit again. It's funny, in a way. In October, I was preaching for members of my committee in front of my home church, and being a part of the women's great banquet meeting. I was in the midst of my chaplaincy internship at UCLA. And now, I am sitting alone on a Friday afternoon, praying against side effects, anticipating the results of a pet scan, watching TD Jakes preaching a sermon titled "Nothing Just Happens." Part of me totally believes and part of me wants to believe this is true, if that makes any sense. The problem is that it usually takes time and perspective to really understand why things happen. I can believe that things happen for a reason without being able to see it in my own situation. I would like to think it is some maturity on my part that I am able to know this. But my immaturity comes in that I would really like to know now. I would really like to have the 20/20 hindsight to know why this is happening to me, and what the purpose in it all is, so that I could bear up under the weight of my struggles better.

Enough of that. Please keep me in your prayers; pray that I might have good test results. Pray that my cancer will be taken away. Thank you.