Crunch time

I have been contemplating the ramifications of exposing myself on my blog and on websites such as facebook. Yes, I do have a facebook account against all my better inclinations. Recently, Justin and I were looking up some old friends, and it's amazing how easy it is to find people with a simple google. Of course, I am not arrogant enough to think that people google me on any frequent basis, and I suppose it should not matter if they do. Yet the lack of anonymity one could once enjoy has gone out the window. Fortunately I have found, upon self examination, that there is nothing on any of my sites that would cause me any chagrin, even the the examiner was, say, a future employer. So I will continue to tread carefully.

I haven't blogged much lately because there is little to blog so far. I would appear to be a poster child for recovery from stem cell transplant. However, more interesting days a comin', in the form of a new PET scan. I have blood work on Thursday and the scan on Friday. Then there is a doctor's office coming later on the 5th. Since my Dad's birthday is on the 7th (as well as Justin's dad's b-day on the 6th) I am sincerely hoping to deliver good news. I hesitate to say this....because I do not want to instill false confidence...but I just feel like this is going to be okay. I honestly don't know what i would do if it wasn't. However, I am determined not to have a panic attack as the days draw nearer. To tell the truth, I'll really be crazy come next Wednesday. That would be about the time when Dr. Black will be getting the report. Every time I go and see the doctor, my blood pressure goes through the roof. I have a bad case of "white coat syndrome". If you check my blood pressure at any other point, it is well into the healthy range.

I know that I haven't really given much of an update about my dad. He's going to have to do radiation, and he's not thrilled about it. The radiation, however, will probably guarantee that the cancer won't come back, so that is really good news.


I know I use the phrase "I hope" a lot, but I hope that I am clean...healthy. But I'll never be normal....how I was before. But I think I might be better.