Resisting the urge

I can feel my psyche leaning towards anxiety and fear; yet I am resisting the urge to give into. I scheduled my first follow up pet scan today for later this month (it's sad when the guy recognizes you when you call), and even thought it is 3 months away I find it difficult not to fixate on it. It's amazing how hyper-aware you become of your body after this kind of ordeal. Every twitch, every ache makes you wonder and can send a little shiver of terror down your spine. Whereas two years ago I had managed to ignore a whole year of back pain without thinking cancer. Diligently I work at the little daily tasks I am responsible for, reminding myself to enjoy now rather than worry about tomorrow. As for my health, I have more energy than ever. I feel great, I exercise, I can do almost anything that I want to do.

As for my dad, he seems to be doing well. He is feeling much better and is waiting for his appointment with the radiological oncologist. Since his lymph nodes were clear, I am really hopeful that the surgeon managed to get the entire tumor out, and that the cancer was contained. It looks relatively good so far, but my family has learned how not to count their chickens before they are hatched. In general, I try to be a realist tinged with optimism.

Speaking of being a realist tinged with optimism, I am hoping that I will be able to make it to my cousin's wedding in March. However, we are waiting for my next doctor's appointment to make that decision. We kind of got burned on buying plane tickets too early when we were unable to use our tickets to go home over Christmas.
I would really like to get to go.
And that reminds me, my uncle has been working really hard on a new website for their business. My dad finally relented and agreed that they probably ought to be out there in cyberspace. You should really check it out. mcclungconstruction.net It's a really good site, chock full of really interesting information. Anyways, feel free to peruse it.