Well, I guess it is unlikely that anyone is still reading my blog given that I haven't written in three weeks. Lots of stuff has happened, so I will try and catch everyone up with the latest details.
I suppose part of the reason I haven't written lately is because I've been in Dallas with my family. But mostly it was because I was kind of depressed. Three weeks ago, when I went into my scheduled treatment, I got held from taking the chemo because my counts were too low. This was unexpected, but not a disaster. Yet, in full disclosure, it brought up fears which I didn't really want to face. When you start treatment, you sort of take on this go and get 'em kind of attitude. You tell everyone, and they echo back to you, that you are going to beat this thing. So facing setbacks is difficult. The odds are that I will beat this thing, but the truth is that no one knows the future. There is no set outcome, and I have to take things one day at a time. Talking about uncertainty tends to make people uncomfortable, but I think that most patients who are facing serious illness need to talk about it. I think that anyone who faces a disease which could be terminal, has to face all the possible outcomes. That doesn't mean that I'm being negative, but it means that I know its a reality.
Upbeat enough for you? I thought so. Good news is that last Thursday my counts were fine and I was able to take treatment. From now on, every Friday after treatment I will go in and take a shot to stimulate my white blood cells. Unfortunate side effects include bone pain, but its controllable.
My spirits are relatively good. I sleep a lot, almost like a cat. I shaved my head, and if I must say so myself, I have a relatively normal shaped head. And since I have yet to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes, I don't look so bad. Growing up as a chubby child, I often heard the complement, "You have such a pretty face." And now that's finally paying off. Yes! So, enjoy the first bald pic, and please keep reading. No matter what happens, I promise I won't stay away so long from now on.
2 comments:
Oh yes I missed you but mostly after you left at the family Christmas. I want to tell you that I am proud you are my grandaughter! I am proud of the way you use your faith to help all of us. We have to all look at reality and sometimes that is not what we want to do. You GO GIRL!! Be yourself and allow us to help when we can. I love you both very much and God Bless you both. Grandma
hi katie, i'm sorry that you had some setbacks in treatment. i can't even imagine how discouraging and scary that would be. i know that life has been crazy for you lately, but if you ever want to listen or just want somebody to keep you company as you bum around, let me know. i've been praying for you.
oh, and you do have a very nicely shaped head. justin on the other hand has a couple of funny lumps...
-renn
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